Monday, April 16, 2007

Spirit Healing: Not Fake. A Testimonial...

Hey ladies,

I FINALLY DOWNLOADED FIREFOX!

After years of browser-related rage, I finally figured out how to get Firefox to work on my comp. Damn I'm good!

Turns out all I actually had to do was click on the little icon and hit "install," but let's disregard how sadly comp-unsavvy I am and move on...it's a miracle I've even got a blog...

I had ambitions plans for today to write a post expounding upon the myriad ways in which Freud's "The Uncanny" is reflected in our daily lives. However, this plan was derailed because a couple of things have happened since then that I cannot resist talking about. Maybe I'll find a link, or maybe--more likely--I'll spare you the Comp Lit BS for another day.

It was a halfway nice weekend here. Friday we had a Ladiez Nite at the 'BO Room; Saturday, Maggs and I hit up TRAX for a couple hours to get completely traxxxed for less than 5 bucks. As per usual, we were the only females there besides June, and the rest of the customers appeared to be middle-aged Norweigan gay men. Typical Trax Saturday crowd: Norweigans, June, Soccerball, LL, Derrick, me. You know, the FAM.

Then Maggs and I got sucked into Hobsonian's by some high school chums. Maggs was intelligent enough to not hop on the party train at 1:30 to the Shannon Arms several miles away. I, howev, was not, and felt somewhat less than fabulous the next day, but had a good time shooting the shit with the various sketchballs and no-goodniks that our diocese has produced.

Sunday--unlike Saturday, when it rained like whoa all morning--was a perfect day to trek to the hipster kingdom of Dolores Park to people-watch and show off your new mullet/bangs/ill-fitting frock and leggings/hideous high-waisted jumper unisuit. One of the greater joys in life is to chill at D park with some doobies and pals and a Roxy(TM) portable ipod dock, gawking at the oddballs that rove around on nice days. Sunday, the chief odd-job was a tall fellow with filthy dreads (looked like a combo of Tom Greene and John the Baptist) who wielded a hand-painted sandwich board reading:

SPIRIT HEALING
emotional disstres (sic)
PHYSICAL PAIN
heal through my hands
TALK TO ME

He was probably hoping that no one would notice that the back of the sign said "6 FOOT 7 JEW WILL FREESTYLE RAP FOR YOU"...seriously...would that lower his spirit healing cred?

Well, I def got a holy vibe so I flagged him. With all the psychic pain I've been feeling lately, I figured this could not hurt. So, after notifying me that he was about to fall into a trance, he had me lay down in a cross position and then he sort of moved his hands over me while making this sound: "whooooooOOOOOOshhhhhhh...." Like the sound of wind whistling through the Himalayas....or perhaps a whale call...not sure.

Anyways this went on for quite some time and I was kinda wondering when it would be over and trying not to laugh cause then Maggs would laugh and it would be all over. Thankfully I was saved by the music that was bumping from my 'pod. When a certain song came on, the 6'7 Jew snapped out of his trance, rasped "is this Freedom by George Michael?" to no one in particular, then launched into an elaborate lip-synch performance during which be removed most of his clothing. (Though, mercifully, not his patchwork pants.)

Then when that was over he placed a cell phone call to his dad and engaged in an entirely mundane conversation.

Needless to say, assuming that the George Michael breakdown was part of the spirit healing procedure, I felt MUCH better.

Miss you,

TEMPIST

2 comments:

Twiggy said...

congratulations on getting FireFOx!! hehehhe....i downloaded firefox as well but somehow i always still use IE..

Maggie, Haley and Jillian said...

i don' know about you but i thought the spiritual healers convo with his dad was pretty hi-larious.

"you just need to do more tai chi"
"i can feel your energy over the phone and i can tell you, just do more tai chi. oh. and yoga"